__losing_myself (__losing_myself) wrote in newromanticsxx,

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good bye cruel world im leaving you today, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

if i cant use the computer then i decided to write in a real journal and to type it whenever i can, liek when my moms not home etc. the next few entrys will probably be the longest ill ever write,if you have the time, i suggest you read the next three paragraphs. they mean a lot.

|| January 9th || i did it again. its not like i have a bad life, its not that i want to die either. within the last week i have done the following wrong [+] cut myself [+] drank twice [+] was mean [+] went on the comp. and am not allowed to. [+] got mad for no reason.

everyones just got this craving for drama. we'll say it we dont want it, and that we hate it, but really were the ones who create it ourselves. why do we do what we do? take drugs, drink, run away, cut ourselves, get in ridiculous fights? i think its because we either 1) want to get away from it all or 2) we want attention.

for me i cant seem to figure out why i do it. seeing as my life isnt as bad as other peoples, is it because i want attention? if it is,i am a selfish whore, because i have tons of people who care about me. there must be a '3)' out there somewhere. i hope to find it someday. if i can't, i sure hope someone else can.....

|| January 10th || my mom said that i cant go to the dance --> i think she'll change her mind though i just gotta listen to everything she asks. [ i didnt listen to her when she said get off the computer last night thats why she said i cant go ]

|| January 11th || i felt like shit so i didnt go to school. thats it. now im in a fucking bad mood cause people are fucking stupid. whatever

ill write when i get the chance. comment please. \\   <-- also written in  my livejournal. __losing_myself
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